Julie, a 13-year-old girl was looking forward to dinner and a movie with her mother. While they were putting on their coats to leave, the doorbell rang.  A strange man walked into the house with Mom.  Mom nervously introduced Julie to “Mike” as her new boyfriend. Instead of shaking Mike’s hand, Julie turned to Mom and asked, why is he coming with us? 

Do you think this was an effective way for Mom to introduce Mike to Julie?

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A large percentage of parents will remarry. Some perhaps surprising statistics about second marriages are:

• Over 60% of second marriages eventually end in divorce
• When divorce occurs during a second marriage, it typically occurs within the first few years of chaotic adjustment

Why do you think this is?

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If you are recently separated, have you given yourself clear guidelines on new relationships and how they might affect your child/children? This assignment gives you the opportunity to think of guidelines that would be appropriate when introducing a new relationship to your children. Write one or two sentences describing appropriate ways to introduce a new relationship to your child. 

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“Josh, a 6-year-old boy, began crying when his father informed him that his mother would not be coming to visit today.  Josh did not understand what a “check” was and why his mother did not give his father a check so they could see each other.  He was looking forward to showing his mother the picture he drew of her.  He wished his father would just let his mother come to visit him anyway even if she did not have a “check”.”     

So what might this child be feeling?

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“I’m a 13-year-old girl. When my parents got divorced, they explained it just meant my dad would be living across town and I would not get to see him every day. My mother started back to work and now I only see her at breakfast and for an hour before I go to bed. I hardly see that much of mom.”

So what might this child be feeling? 

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“I’m a 9-year-old girl and I just got back from visiting my dad for the first time in weeks. He was so excited to show me his new place. But when I walked in and saw his tiny place, I could not think of anything to say. He has this little efficiency apartment with a rollout bed.  He laughed and said he’s saving up for a TV.  He apologized for not seeing me sooner, but said since he started his second job, he works a lot of nights and weekends.  I know the second job has something to do with child support, I also guess it also has something to do with me not getting to see my dad more often.”

So, what might this child be feeling?

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“I’m a 12-year-old boy visiting my mother for the weekend.  She just got a new job and has moved into a great condo with tennis courts, a pool, and a golf course.  Mom said that today she is taking me out to buy a new mountain bike.  However, Dad said that we needed to save money. So, we worked together on fixing up my old bike.  It was great to work with Dad on the bike. But a brand new one…now that’s something special!”

So, what might this child be feeling?

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What do you think is the most important thing that the extended family will lose as a result of the divorce?

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What do you think is the most important thing that your child/children will lose as a result of the divorce?

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What do you think is the most important thing that the parents will lose as a result of the divorce?

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