“I’m a 13-year-old girl. When my parents got divorced, they explained it just meant my dad would be living across town and I would not get to see him every day. My mother started back to work and now I only see her at breakfast and for an hour before I go to bed. I hardly see that much of mom.”

So what might this child be feeling? 

Once you are ready to answer, press the “Start Assignment” button.

“I’m a 9-year-old girl and I just got back from visiting my dad for the first time in weeks. He was so excited to show me his new place. But when I walked in and saw his tiny place, I could not think of anything to say. He has this little efficiency apartment with a rollout bed.  He laughed and said he’s saving up for a TV.  He apologized for not seeing me sooner, but said since he started his second job, he works a lot of nights and weekends.  I know the second job has something to do with child support, I also guess it also has something to do with me not getting to see my dad more often.”

So, what might this child be feeling?

Once you are ready to answer, press the “Start Assignment” button.

“I’m a 12-year-old boy visiting my mother for the weekend.  She just got a new job and has moved into a great condo with tennis courts, a pool, and a golf course.  Mom said that today she is taking me out to buy a new mountain bike.  However, Dad said that we needed to save money. So, we worked together on fixing up my old bike.  It was great to work with Dad on the bike. But a brand new one…now that’s something special!”

So, what might this child be feeling?

Once you are ready to answer, press the “Start Assignment” button.

What do you think is the most important thing that the extended family will lose as a result of the divorce?

Once you are ready to answer, press the “Start Assignment” button.

What do you think is the most important thing that your child/children will lose as a result of the divorce?

Once you are ready to answer, press the “Start Assignment” button.

What do you think is the most important thing that the parents will lose as a result of the divorce?

Once you are ready to begin, press the “Start Assignment” button.

Listed below are eight actions and behaviors parents often use to help continue parenting effectively after separation. We have found using these actions and behaviors allows parents to reduce conflict and promote a positive environment for their child/children. As you read through, consider which actions or behaviors you use already and which ones you have trouble using.  

1. Keep my feelings out of the discussion when talking to the other parent; stay focused (when speaking to him/her) on parenting decisions for our child/children.
2. Find a way to “release” my anger or frustration (e.g. shooting hoops; yoga)
3. Stop myself from “bad-mouthing” the other parent in front of the child/children.
4. Stop expressing a wish that the other parent is not involved in the child/children’s lives.
5. Take more time to listen to the child/children (without distractions) and try to understand what they are saying.
6. Stop telling my co-parent about problems or changes that occur with the child/children when they are with me.
7. Handle communications better with the other parent: stop myself from asking the child/children to send messages for me.
8. Focus more on the child’s experiences after a “visit”; stop myself from asking the child/children to tell me what the other parent is doing.

After you have read through the list, you will be asked to pick the ONE action or behavior that you would like to improve on the most.

Once you are ready to begin, press the “Start Assignment” button.